believe.move.become.

Life is a journey, not so much to a destination, but a transformation.

Reflection in the mirror

on September 20, 2012

So I had committed to getting myself to the gym to workout on Thursday night.  What I am willing to admit, on Thursday I am exhausted.  I don’t know what it is about Thursday, but Natalie and I are go go go and Thursday becomes the night we crash.  I think for all of both our sakes Thursday needs to remain my day to rest.  I started to spend some time thinking about my WHY and what seems to be the hurdle I am having a hard time surpassing, and I have realized at least one thing.  I keep saying the same thing over and over again in my head and it is the road block that I need help pushing through.

9 months ago I never worked out, 9 months ago I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and never thought twice about what was going into my mouth.  I feel like in the past 9 months I have changed a lot.  I make way better choices then I used to, I don’t eat out as much, I don’t drink as often as I used to, and I exercise way more then I ever did.  It is a road block for me because although I know my body has changed, it isn’t enough for me.  I feel like I put in the time and can’t seem to figure it out.  I am the type of person who will read about diets and lifting and how to get where I want to be.  I will try to figure out a realistic weight and body fat for my body type to keep my goals realistic.  I will wear my heart rate monitor and journal my food and I can’t seem to be consistent at all.  I want to be successful and I want to look at myself and say wow, I did this it was all me and I am not there yet.  I need to wrap my head around the idea that yes I am working hard, but I am going to need to work harder, I am going to need to eat cleaner, and I am going to have to prove to myself that I will figure this out and I will see the reflection in the mirror I am looking for, as will you.

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